Cross Road

As I grew up in the church, I really never disclosed the struggles that I had faced and I didn't understand my identity in him. I fought my battles in secret.

Fast forward:
Several months ago I wrote this poem which I posted on this blog about my struggles. As I wrote it I deeply felt that this personal poem needed to be shared.

As I reflected back on my own personal struggles, I knew that I wasn't alone struggling to believe what God says in his word.
I knew that there are many kids, teens, and adults struggling to focus and believe in God when, they face issues that are difficult, when they face their Goliath, when all hell brakes lose in their lives.

As I mention above, I grew up in the church, and at the time I did not understand who I was in Christ. I grew up with a lot of anger, resentment, shame and guilt (side note: but I still had and have wonderful parents), let me remind you again, all while going  to church.
You see I was taught information , the word of God, the bible, the instructions  how to battle the enemy. I was taught the amazing stories, how God used each and every broken men and women for his plan, how he redeemed and restored. How he defeated the enemy at the cross for us. I was taught about the love of the father, the Son laying down his life in order for me to have an abundant life. I was taught about sacrifice, about freedom, about deliverance and I was taught how God can heal us physically and emotionally, that nothing is impossible for the God that I was serving.
BUT...
I was facing a dilemma.. I found myself at a cross road...
I was confronted by demons in my life that had me believe that they were greater than the God I was serving.
Life around me was caving in and I was believing the wrong person.... The enemy.
I believed this illusion that felt real.  You see I  practically breath church but when things came my way to challenge me I took the wrong path.
Its not so easy to answer the question of "who are you going to trust and believe" when we are smack dab in the middle of a storm in our lives and or battleling something we may be weak in.

So I know scriptures, that's nice! but in order for the word to become alive in me, in us, we need to begin to focus our sight towards God, believe and APPLY IT.

For example: When we read on how to work out one of those hideous statistics math problems (yes, its a cruel example)...You cant just read than expect to completely comprehend it, you have to apply it in order to appreciate what you just have learned.  Same deal with the Bible. We all have to apply what we read in order to appreciate and start trusting the teacher who gave us the manual.
You see the enemy wants to strip away your identity, this is what happens in this battle we are all in. He doesn't want you and I to make that choice to apply the word of God over our lives.  As long as we let him toy with you and I, we are  going to live a life as if we are defeated Christians and that doesn't and should NOT make sense. The moment we start choosing the right path at our cross roads (the believing of God's word) we become very dangerous to the enemy.
I was given the tools to fight my Goliath yet at my cross roads, I dropped those tools and I ran into a road that only got narrow and it stopped at a dead end. A dead end full of frustrations, worry, anxiety, shame, guilt, resentment,  feeling worthless, isolated, yet God so lovingly and patiently made a path for me to escape into.
What or better yet Who are you going to believe? What path are you going to choose? I want to encourage you  today that when you face a struggle run to him, that word, the bible is a weapon, its not just a book full of stories. Many of you may be going through a rough season in your life, don't get discouraged. you are not alone. God will never rest reminding you that he is REAL and he is with you. He is like the air you breath, you may not see  it but you breath it in order to keep alive.

You need safety-He is your strong tower. Psalms 61:3
You need saving- He'll answer you and rescue you. Psalm 91:4
You're suffering and feel crushed- He's  your refuge and safe place. Psalm 9:9-10
You're worried and anxious -He'll give you peace that will guard your mind and heart Phil. 4:6-7
You feel weak-He'll give you rest Matthew 11:28; He'll renew your strength. Isaiah 40:31
You feel shame/guilt-THERE IS NONE FOR THOSE WHO ARE IN CHRIST JESUS. Romans 8:1

God has and is healing my brokenness, he will make a way for you just as he did with me.

Blessings,
M